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The Woman in the Red DressThe silk and satin wrapped around a woman scorned
Finding her lover in the thrawls of another
And her tears tightly locked into her eyes
Running though a fierce storm
Fire and pain in her heart
Tears building as her bare feet hit the stone streets
She's soakng wet
Masking the streaks of black makeup
Her gown turning a dark maroon
Her dress was so beautiful
Soaked through with rain
Showing every curve and feature of her body
Looking up at the shining moon
Its cascading beauty reflecting off her face
The red dress flowed, lifelessly in the cold winter wind
And she sat there
With her hands never leaving her heart
With love so rapidly lost
Rarely realizing how beautiful she was
The sadness chained to her heart
Forcing her down that path of no return
Waiting for the sensual kiss of her lover
For what the sweet remedy of her heart calls to
Within TemptationThe lonely sit on the balcony
Staring into darkened skies
Remembering those unwanted feelings
Staring into a faded memory
Every lie burned into my skin
Breathing in the cold air
Giving into the temptation
Wishing to love you here
Sufficating in this tension
All the color fades from your face
Seeing you shed so many tears
And I didn't care
Holding you in my arms for so long
Each minute killing me faster
Praying you'd let me go
Still in the moment
Why my mind is frozen in you
Not being able to stop the feeling
Because you never want it to end
I can feel my senses fade away
Never wanting to love you
And being forced to share it
Not wanting my heart to stop when I feel you behind me
Sitting on the edge of an evanescent fantasy
The kiss of death and permantent hell
And I can't stop
I can't run from it forever
Remind me why it's worth it all
To sacrifce my sanity for you
Together in this beautiful nightmare
All of these memories keep me here
A deadly affair we can't seem to end
I WILL NEVER...."I will never...."
"I can never...."
"I swear I'd never...."
The word,never, breathes it's lie into every conversation
Every aspect of human interaction
The word....the phrase
It stings the lips of all who repeat it an all who recieve it
It immediately closes our minds
And breakdown the very fabric of reality
What world can be trapped in such a dysfunctional existance?
"I'll NEVER truly know....."
The concept of 'never' is a never ending cycle of uncertainty
Used to sheild the emotions of those who weild it's power
"NEVER will I...."
Never will I tell you what say.
How to feel....
How to act....
How to live....
It's nt my place to make up your mind
Only to attempt to change it
"So you can NEVER...."
So you can understand...
So your head...
"....doesn't explode under the pressure."
"Because I NEVER...."
"....wanted this f
StreamlineUnderstand where my heart lies with you
Why this can not be forever
My heart can no longer hold the love of two
Playing this sick game of russian rulette with your heads
I cannot bare to inflict such pain on either of you
Hear me when I say there's only one rose let on the thorn
And it can't be split done the middle
As much as I'd lke it to be
As much as I've wished it were that easy
I know no sign will show me my path
Beyond the way of an empty flame
Or a hollow threat
How the stereotypical fantasy of a something-"charming"
It can never wisk you away into a happily ever after
Instead I'm trapped in this twisted romance
With the key a only a few feet away from the gates
My soul can never truly comprehend why it need come to this
This hellish cold
This paradox of emotions traveling deep within me
Held together by the loves of spirits
I long for solice
But deep inside I can't let them both go
Each one filling in an empty space in my soul
Letting go in the moment....
Late Night's Lead To... -P14I found her half way down the street, just walking. Walking as if nothing had happened. "Autumn!" Hope she hears me. "Autumn!!! Come on! Autumn!" Finally turned around. She looked irritated. I can imagine. "Can you just wait for one minute!? You owe me that much!"
"I thought you said I didn't owe you anything!" Now it all made so much sense and I couldn't bare to ever think about what that guy could've done if he thought she'd owed him, but it was all coming together.
"Stop being such an ass and stop for two seconds so we can talk about this!" Insults were insults and I still didn't forget about what just happened a few minutes ago. She never stopped, so I chased after her and walked with her. I didn't even realize how long we'd been walking. It had to have been at least a mile up those city blocks, away from my building.
After a while, we ended up at a row of townhouses. Pretty nice ones. Then she suddenly stopped and turned to me. "You have to leave, you can't follow me." I assumed h
Late Night's Lead To... -P1I'd never seen her before. Although, I had this weird feeling. Like we'd met. Like we'd known of each for sometime and just didn't acknowledge it. Like Déjà vu. Or something of that nature.
I first saw her at that diner. Ya know? The one up the street no one really goes to after 3am. I thought I was the only one. Excluding some posthumous regulars, like Stevie. She came every night. Like clockwork. Working off her late night hangover's with extra spicy burritos and red bull. A potent combination. Or people like, Gordon. The rent-a-cop, at the local mall. Comes in after his shift to drink a little cheap beer with the occasional interruptions by phone calls from a woman, I assumed, must be his wife.
But that girl. She's never there around that time. Didn't seem like the late night type. Not a party girl. But something was different about her, this evening. Truth be told, she was a very attractive girl. Long black hair and full figured. Someone you'd definitely notice in a crowd
Late Night's Lead To... -P2Okay, that reaction wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but fine. "Hey, chill. I'm not trying to take you anywhere ya crazy girl!" Just when my sarcastic nature began to return-
Damn this chick slaps pretty hard
Which is how I learned, when a girl's in "pain" and or crying don't be the ass who calls her crazy? She may just slap you across the face in public. Hehe eh okay moving on.
"Hey! Was the slapping necessary? I just asked if you were okay. That's it." I said calmly, although my cheek was bright red. The slapping thing. Way too easy. Could've made a funny ass sex joke, but getting hit again wasn't worth it. "So is that a yes? No? Maybe? Think of it this way. Random chicks don't just stroll into a diner at three in the morning, looking like they've been crying."
" .I'm not some random chick. So stop calling me that." She looked back up, wiped her face with a napkin and turned back around to the counter. At least she's calming down. I tho
Paper That Never BurnsIt's funny how you seem to think little of me now
For shedding tears in your arms
And trust me when I say I never meant to do so
You just happened to be standing there at the time
I fell into you for some reason
And I'm not entirely sure why
Why you felt you needed to follow me
And do what you did...
I want to regret every moment of it
To strip me of each memory
When they refuse to go away
My heart continues to weaken for you
Then you turned right back around and cried
I felt the pain move through me as I held you
And you wouldn't let go
It was as if no one was around
Just me and you drifting through the abyss
Searching for peace
Remembering to keep those promises
We both regret making
But for now
It seems that my heart belongs to you once again
As yours lies with me
Where we go from here remains to be seen I suppose
Late Night's Lead To... -P8God, when we pulled up to my building I could feel the tension. She had to be here. There was no question. It's like Dana, had a sixth sense when I was bringing someone home. It WAS creepy in every possible way.
My apartment was on the fourth floor. You'd think the elevator ride would be awkward. It was, don't get me wrong. Completely silent and I was freaking out. The last time Dana came and fought with another girl at my place, the police were called. Autumn's calmness was just not like her about an hour ago. She was so quiet and nervous. Now she's itching for a fight.
Better have 911 on speed dial for this one.
"Why are you so quiet?" Autumn was in the light now. Jesus Christ she was so gorgeous! I definitely noticed this time. But dammit! This was the wrong time to notice it. I didn't notice how long her hair was or how big her- Well yeah
"Sorry, just um thinking." I was but not about what she thought.
"Thinking about what? This Dana girl? I'm sure she's not even there.
RelapseI'd like to be prettier
I'd like to be smarter
To make better decisions
To learn to try harder
I'd like to be loved
And give loads of love back
I'd like to be perfect
With absolutely no lack
But reality shows me
Time and time again
That I must try harder
That I must overcome pain
To see another sunset
To love another man
I must calm myself down
I must have a plan
No more bad habits
No more crying at night
I must recall how to smile
I must learn how to fight
Fight myself, mainly
Because I'm the true enemy
Fight the pills, the vomit, the smoke
And clear the poison flowing in me
If only I were stronger
And a bit more ambitious, perhaps
I suppose I could really be better
With no painful relapse
But I'm not.
Help?What is this?
Apparently,they all love me
But they don't see
How much it all hurts
I'm on the outside,looking in
Did I do something to deserve this?
Some horrible sin?
And I really hate to bother you
I know you've better things to do
But please show me how to be happy again
Pounding thoughtsThe death of hope came to my door tonight.
Screaming with rage and pounding my head with hate.
And through my hate I start to think...
That if I'm alone I can not hate...
And when I let go... this connection breaks...
A part of me is broken ...another part is silent.
Silent tears and cries not spoken.
Bitter in other places...
This connection is breaking.
And these are moments when caring is just too hard to do.
Because its getting harder to just stay.
I just cant stay in this darkness anymore.
When my light simply closes when you bring me words of no courage...
Lights come on at the end of the tunnel now.
But you are not the one That is opening it anymore.
And its time for you to never open that door.
For it to be forever closed to your caring hold.
I cant feel your presence in my heart.
In my head that door between us is closed tight.
Theirs an emptiness in a part of my heart.
That is the one crying even as I write.
Because rage was camouflage with care.
hidden in the shadows not sho
Beautiful DistractionEvery heartbeat.
Reminds me of you...
And no matter what I try to do,
I just can't seem to take my mind off of you.
I could be anywhere at all,
doing anything in the world,
as far away from you
as I could possibly bear to be,
and you would still manage to find your way
back into my mind.
And there is nothing I could do to stop you,
nothing I would do to stop you,
nothing I will do to stop you,
breaking your way back in to my head,
because you're the only thing I ever want to think about.
Whether I really am alone,
or whether I'm with others.
Whenever I'm with anyone but you,
I simply feel empty,
I feel uncomfortable,
as if there's a piece of me missing.
Imagine if you suddenly lost an arm,
suddenly lost a leg,
that's not the kind of thing that goes without noticing,
not the kind of thing you'd try not to notice.
So why do I try so hard not to think of you?
It's not that I don't want to think of you,
I never want to stop thinking about you.
ScatteredBroken fragments are my heart.
Shattered glass is my mind.
A mangled mess is my body.
And in my eyes I hide
the anguish deep inside.
And the only thing left to ask is...
Will I ever be alright?
Never over youI can pretend
But the hurt is still there
I can lie
But the truth still is
I can ignore
But it wont go away
I can run
But its still chasing me
I can smile
But there are still tears
I can dream
But there are only nightmares
I can try
But Im torn on the inside
I can be better
But I'll never be good enough
I can seem alive
But I have already died
I can say its not your fault
But we all know what you did
I can say I dont love you anymore
and yet Im never over you
The LettersI wrote you a letter
and stained every page
with spots of heart's blood
and a drop of tears' age.
I wrote it in red ink
and signed it in black.
I wrote you a letter
with all that I lack.
Its edges were crumpled
the paper was worn.
The ink sometimes smeared
and the corners were torn.
The letter was full,
but a bit empty, too,
since all I could think of
to write to you
was a flood of sweet words
that spoke little truth,
contained little substance,
and came off uncouth.
I wrote you a letter
with all that I am.
I wrote you a letter
that turned out a sham.
I swore to you promise,
a love for the age,
but all I could give you
was a simple page
filled with meaningless words
and platitudes sworn
to take off the edge
of your heat and your scorn.
It was quite well-scripted;
I printed it well.
I spent hours mulling
over what I should tell.
The ink had long dried
by the time I began,
but I wrote it out careful,
again and again.
I tried to be cautious.
I tried to be sweet.
I tried to write you
If Only You Read My WordsI want to write a poem, or maybe a song (but I'm no good at rhyming) that could make you fall in love with me again. That silly, love note writing, hopeless romantic love you used to have. I miss the way your eyes would light up like Christmas lights when you saw me, and how mine would reflect you. Now all I have is nothing, hardly a sentence spoken between us per week. It's like loving a ghost, because you're not really here, I'm only speaking to my memories in the empty attic that is my mind. You used to love my poetry, but now you refuse to read anything I write any more because a lot of it has to do with you and maybe you hate seeing your true reflection in the words. So even if I could write something to make you fall in love with me again, you would never read it. You're too afraid to face your reflection and too afraid to analyze your feelings again.
Maybe it's not you at all that I miss, though I do miss you a whole lot. Maybe I just miss being loved, knowing that for once in m
Almost ForeverI remember when we danced under the great green trees; swaying with the wind, looking up at the stars, and dreaming of the sea... the way it was, the way it's supposed to be.
You kept our promises, I didn't keep mine. I'm still so sorry, I wish I had told you, my favorite valentine.
I remember those seven times you admitted you cried; the days your uncles died, the day your long lost grade school friend committed suicide.
Each and everytime I ached with you, you never knew it but I wept too. Angels, my poor angel, were never meant to live like that.
I remember the day you showed me my wings, you showed me the beauty in the nonsense, those songs I'd sing.
To this day, I sing for you. Every off note, every unwritten love song in my mind and heart, was and is dedicated to you.
I remember the only time you yelled at me; I was shaken and hurt, but all it took was your arms around me to make me feel so much better.
I dreamt of the day I could see you for real; that I could smell you, hear yo
Breathe Forever MoreI quite enjoy the chaos
That strange desire for my heart to skip a beat
Falling into that unusual pit of silence
That soothing silence
That feeling of peace
Oblivious to the world
What a unique beauty you seem to be
And I must admit it's something I never realized
What I began to live for
This sudden change of pace leaves me caught in your eyes
Locked away in your gaze
Slowly being dragged through that rabbit hole again
And I have no desire to escape
No efforts to find what was once my reality
To keep the dream alive
To keep myself enchained to an enchanted slumber
A sweet sacrificial heart beats slowly to your hums
That beautiful melody
One wonderous harmony
As she sways in the wind
To admit such a thing would be painful
To admit such a desire would be such sweet release
Such undoubting rapture
To lose control.....just this one time.
five hour energyi suppose
last week was only an aftershock
of the earthquake you were before.
this place used to vibrate
with metal strings and melodic,
testimonies to life,
emitting coffee-scented moods
and the burn of it too.
i had memorized the
sounds of silence,
i couldn't help but relish it.
no longer had i known
the sounds of folk
and scent of mocha-
you became nothing more
than an echo of the laughter
i so desperately needed to hear again.
then the echoes got louder,
bouncing ferociously off the walls
to be made manifest
i walked into your room
expecting exactly what i found-
an unmade bed,
and an empty beer
(the one that you insisted you needed
just days ago).
i pressed my nose
into the pillow
for incense and cologne and starbucks
to penetrate my mind
and thinking fervently
i already know
what a clean sheet smells like."
how strong an aftershock can be,
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More