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Evanescent Songs and Broken Keys..I gave it up...
The image I'd fought so hard to keep
The image I created to hide from you
Surrounded by so much sex..
So many lies...
I fell away from you...
Singing that sweet song of memory
Praying for eternal forgiveness,
For having lost your hear, so long ago
But did I deserve it?
To fall back into your arms..
It would only be a heavenly dream
One, where I;d be lost in your eyes forever
Until in return, you broke my spirit..
My soul wasting away
Through your fingers and into the dirt
I fell to my knees, wondering..
Had you lost the key to my heart, too?
Did you walk away from the imperfections?
Yes...the perfection of imperfection...
Had we not realized it?
Had we not realized..
The love we made was of passionate discourse
When our hearts and bodies fell into place
Wrapped in each others arms..
We fell into mindless esctasy...
The night we created that key of eternal love..
Never Go BackNever go back
Never hold it in, to kill you faster
Let it breathe...
Believe you can be everything
Realize you can feel anything
How can I have forgotten about you, baby?
Your seductive stare?
How submissive I became at the sight of your lips touching my skin...
How can I feel such chainless freedom now?
To be able to explore the possiblities
Without you pulling me back...
.....so far down into the abyss.
Where do I come back to?
This unimaginable loniness?
Into a place were I feel weightless.
Alone and yet...
I do not know.
I WILL NEVER...."I will never...."
"I can never...."
"I swear I'd never...."
The word,never, breathes it's lie into every conversation
Every aspect of human interaction
The word....the phrase
It stings the lips of all who repeat it an all who recieve it
It immediately closes our minds
And breakdown the very fabric of reality
What world can be trapped in such a dysfunctional existance?
"I'll NEVER truly know....."
The concept of 'never' is a never ending cycle of uncertainty
Used to sheild the emotions of those who weild it's power
"NEVER will I...."
Never will I tell you what say.
How to feel....
How to act....
How to live....
It's nt my place to make up your mind
Only to attempt to change it
"So you can NEVER...."
So you can understand...
So your head...
"....doesn't explode under the pressure."
"Because I NEVER...."
"....wanted this f
StreamlineUnderstand where my heart lies with you
Why this can not be forever
My heart can no longer hold the love of two
Playing this sick game of russian rulette with your heads
I cannot bare to inflict such pain on either of you
Hear me when I say there's only one rose let on the thorn
And it can't be split done the middle
As much as I'd lke it to be
As much as I've wished it were that easy
I know no sign will show me my path
Beyond the way of an empty flame
Or a hollow threat
How the stereotypical fantasy of a something-"charming"
It can never wisk you away into a happily ever after
Instead I'm trapped in this twisted romance
With the key a only a few feet away from the gates
My soul can never truly comprehend why it need come to this
This hellish cold
This paradox of emotions traveling deep within me
Held together by the loves of spirits
I long for solice
But deep inside I can't let them both go
Each one filling in an empty space in my soul
Letting go in the moment....
Breathe Forever MoreI quite enjoy the chaos
That strange desire for my heart to skip a beat
Falling into that unusual pit of silence
That soothing silence
That feeling of peace
Oblivious to the world
What a unique beauty you seem to be
And I must admit it's something I never realized
What I began to live for
This sudden change of pace leaves me caught in your eyes
Locked away in your gaze
Slowly being dragged through that rabbit hole again
And I have no desire to escape
No efforts to find what was once my reality
To keep the dream alive
To keep myself enchained to an enchanted slumber
A sweet sacrificial heart beats slowly to your hums
That beautiful melody
One wonderous harmony
As she sways in the wind
To admit such a thing would be painful
To admit such a desire would be such sweet release
Such undoubting rapture
To lose control.....just this one time.
Unanswered QuestionsI'm not myself when you're depressed.
Which is quite often when I think about it.
You stare into the skies with little passion in your eyes.
Humm with little color in your viens.
The kiss means so much less than it had before.
I try to aim for more passion to satisfy your sadness.
But as my tension builds, you seem to avoid my embrace.
Tell me why I can no longer fuel your broken spirit.
Why has everything come down to this moment?
When you needed me to come over and talk to you.
My heart could no longer take the pain of not knowing.
That I had lost who you were.
I was aware that I couldn't say that I'd loved you.
And how it felt like a deep mass in my stomach.
How I felt trapped amongst my feelings for you.
That lies were burning a whole through me.
At this point, it's easier not to say a word.
Think this will all pass and return to it's usual awkward state.
I hoped for some mode of secrecy between the two of us.
But in your eyes, I could see you wanted more.
Much more than
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
ParalyzedBehind the walls lay its fire
Beautifully frozen in time
Under the moonlight nights love blooms
Slowly sucking the light out of the room
A silent lullaby she sings
Softly, her voice captures the air
Leaving only her beauty to descend upon me
Broken through the shallow black
Stealing her pain
Her darkened hair flows with the wind
Together, dancing in the breeze
Breathe once again
She hums her healing melody
No longer alone
She sits in the quite
Remembering the echoes of loss
As dawn approaches
And dusk fades into memory
She remembers to sing into the morning
The door unlocks
Leading into her emotional freedom
A heavy heart seases to worry
Breathing in peace once again
IronmanHear me read it
My friends used to call William "Ironman" because the first time we kissed he got a nosebleed and the taste of his blood haunted me for a long time after it. We'd only been twelve years old and apparently the anxiety spiked his blood pressure to the point of combustion... I remember that when we were forced to take sex ed a few years later we were divided into separate classes for boys and girls, in case a diagram of an ovary was too risqué and we became animalistic and started clawing at each other in our seats, but nonetheless when our teacher Ms Jacobs had explained to us what an erection was in my mind all I could picture was the blood rushing to his nose and then the slash of cranberry across my blouse.
With the idea planted in his mind it didn't take long for William's hands to start wandering, but the image persisted. Every time I thought about just letting it happen I wondered what would happen if he got too excite
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More